I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
