Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
