You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize