Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
