There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
