I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
