You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
