We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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