He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
