and you said cock pushups were impossible
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.