you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.