Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.