And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
