So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?