Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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