So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
