He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
