Me. At least after what I've been through.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
