She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
