And the cops told us we were all naked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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