toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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