would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
