Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
