And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
