y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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