i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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