Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Nicole vs. Life
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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