I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
