We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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