dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
