She said her name was "party"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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