you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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