Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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