Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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