Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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