I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
