IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
