Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
