my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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