Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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