We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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