It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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