Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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