What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize