My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
