well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
