god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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