dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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