He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
