I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
