i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
