So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
