Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
