Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
