Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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