I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
