yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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