oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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