When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
